Parent or carer?

The baby and toddler years are hard. Very few people will dispute that.

Most of us admit to a little relief when our little darlings can feed themselves, take themselves off to the toilet, play quietly in their room, get themselves out of the bath  and, most blissful of all, when they can get themselves some breakfast and play quietly on a Sunday morning instead of insisting on waking everyone up at 6am!

As much as we love and adore them we all look forward to things getting easier.

Our children grow and life changes. Some things get easier and others get harder for a while, then those things get easier and new challenges take their place.

Till eventually our sweet darlings become wonderful young adults and we swell with pride at them whilst also worrying whether they are getting enough sleep, driving carefully or eating properly. 🙂 Parenting never really ends, does it?

For many though, that statement means so much more.

Ten years on and I still have to do all the same things I did when he was tiny. Yet he is now only just a foot shorter than I am, but with the outlook of a toddler.

He needs me to hoist him from his bed every day.
He needs me to take him to the toilet.
He needs me to help wash his hands.
He needs me to help feed him.
He needs me to clean his teeth.
He needs me to help him play.
He needs a huge amount of support to achieve things.
He needs me to amuse him for hours on end.
He needs me to put him in the car and secure his wheelchair.
He needs me to repeatedly have the same conversations over and over.
He needs to know what I am doing.
He needs me to guess what he needs when he is unhappy and can’t tell me.
He needs me to do his physiotherapy exercises.

And most of those needs happen whilst he is battling against me like a strong-willed three year old!

He needs a parent with endless patience.
He needs a parent with endless energy.

Sometimes I fear that he needs more than I am.

It took at least 8 years to admit to myself that my son is disabled. It took longer still to be able to say it out loud to other people. And I have only recently, 10 years on, been able to admit that I am also his carer.

If anything, it is harder to identify times when I am just his parent.

But being his mum is the best and most important role I have in his life.

 

 

 

 

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

Published by Ordinary Hopes

Cape-less Crusader, changing the world one toilet at a time.

30 thoughts on “Parent or carer?”

  2. You sound like an amazing mum and he sounds such a lucky boy to have you. I have two toddlers and I am the first to admit they drive me mad and I need a break from them often. I love the last line of this post as it is so very true xx

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    1. Thanks. Some days it is a struggle. Some days it feels like I had a baby for two years then I have had the same toddler for 8! He is also the most awesome boy at the same time though.

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    1. Any free time I do get often happens in the wee small hours and I usually spend that writing letters and e-mails to try to plead with businesses and local councils to enable us to lead full lives. Parent, carer, teacher, advocate…

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    1. Thank you. This is just my everyday and most of the time I am too busy to even think about it but some days it is overwhelming.x

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    1. Thank you. He has the same wishes to do things that other small boys have and I am just one person trying to do so many things. I do the best I can though.

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  16. As the mother of 2 disabled young people I can identify with everything you are saying. My kids are slowly becoming independent, but it’s been (& probably will continue to be) a fight to get the support they need. I too have to remind myself to be mum….. even if that does mean they tell me I’m a nag! Lol!

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