- Some “friends” will disappear, but those who stay, and those who choose to be part of your new world, will be the most amazing friends a person could ever know.
- You will ache to depths that you didn’t know possible but you will also know unimaginable joy at things others don’t even see.
- No matter how exhausting life gets, you always find more energy when your child needs you, even when it seems impossible.
- Your memory changes entirely. You will no longer remember how your friend takes their coffee but you know the details of ten different consultants and departments across several hospitals.
- The wee/poo/vomit/sleepless night stage lasts much longer for many of us than it does for parents of non-disabled children. There is no funny anecdote or cheery “plus” to this one!
- You discover that almost everyone has a cliché to share, and they will just keep coming! Eventually you will be able to enjoy a quiet game of “Cliché Bingo” in your head whilst smiling politely.
- You develop a love of Justin Fletcher that others just don’t understand. But there is also a good excuse for watching Mr Bloom! 🙂
- Your brain over-rules all negativity – medical professionals will say things like “he is unlikely to…” but your brain translates them to “he most definitely will!”
- No matter how quiet or introverted you are, you will find your voice when your child needs you to stand up for their rights.
- You may not think that you could parent a disabled child, you may not think you are selfless enough or good enough, but it turns out that you just become the mum your child needs.
I am also a very keen campaigner for something that most of us don’t tend to talk about.
Please take a look at THIS to find out more.
Ordinary Hopes 
Amazing and very true words Rachel x
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Absolutely true! My grandaughter is loved to bits and every new step she takes, is so overwhelming for her parents! Nothing is taken for granted! They feel blessed in every way and the sun rises and sets around their daughter! 🙂
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Cliche bingo is spot on!
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I find it so sad that people feel it’s okay to walk away from a friendship for such a silly reason. All children are a blessing and they should be mature enough to see that!
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I think quality over quantity is definitely applicable when it comes to friends! Tx
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Amazing. The strength of people, who take care of disable children amaze me. More power to you dear.
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Sometimes the term friend is used too loosely, those that pull away for such silly reasons are a waste of space in my opinion.
The picture of you and your son is really sweet and shows a true bond!
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Thank you. 😀
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This is a lovely post, and a really interesting insight. I dont have a disabled child, but honestly I have always really appreciated everything Justin Fletcher does. He’s a good man.
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This is a great post. I really dislike katie hopkins. She is a loser and I really admire Justin Fletcher. My brother is special needs and I totally agree with your points.
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This article is deep. I feel like no matter what, you should love your child. Also whether you are disabled or not, it doesn’t matter because everyone is special to their family ❤
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What a loving and beautiful photo, friends who walk away from you are not real friends and you are better off without them.
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Yes to everything!
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So true, I speak as a disabled adult. The only thing I’d add is when your family walks away because they can’t deal with the label ‘disabled’. And the comments you have made don’t go away as you get older, unfortunately lol
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I was chatting the other day to a friend who is a disabled adult and was almost in tears at some of the treatment they told me about, all of which came from family. I cannot understand anyone treating a family member that way. I will do whatever my son need in order to make his life better.
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Your son is so very lucky to have you as a mum and I’m sure you love each other very much. That kind of love is such a precious gift and always finds a way to make life bearable.
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He lights up my world.x
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I remember saying something similar when I was pregnant with E.
I have since said I was just grateful that E only had Autism to deal with and no significant medical attention required i.e. Medicines, dressings etc etc to remember and manage as I thought I would not be able to do this. We have had a lot of friends come and go who have found her behaviour too stressful to deal with and this has just proven they are not true friends.
This year we have an added challenge to fight!
We now have the autism and luekeamia to manage and with some very special friends and family from unexpected places we are managing day by day.
We gain strength from the littlest gestures and kindness, hide the tears that spring up because of these. I am always surprised how kind strangers can be.
As mums we find the strength to be strong not just for ourselves but everyone close to us whatever is needed we do for the strongest love anyone can imagine and I for one cannot imagine life now without my disabled person in it xx
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We certainly do find a way to do whatever is needed. Big hugs to you and to E.xxx
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I have come to realise that when you have a child you really find out who your real friends are!
you are a fab mama bear x
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Such an amazing and personal blog post to share. It really does show you which friends are there for you x
LAURA | Laura Thinks About
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Amazing and humbling to read. 🙂
Have a wonderful weekend!
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Another lovely post. I hope you have a nice weekend x
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My goodness, what a beautiful post. I often see moms with disabled children out and about at Target or the grocery and think “Hats off to you, you’re such a great parent” I know we rise to the occasion, but I also believe moms like you are true angels on earth. x
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Thank you for your lovely comment.x
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I have 4 children with Autism. I have lost friends, people don’t know how to deal with their reactions, which makes me incredibly sad. Thank you for sharing
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What lovely and touching words. This is unfortunately a topic people think will never touch them but life can have a way of surprising you 🙂 you are a super hero.
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I’m not a parent myself, but I admire that you see the positives in almost every situation. Bless you xx
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Lovely post. I can imagine it’s so hard when your friends aren’t always there for you anymore but it’s amazing how you have stayed strong and this posts makes me very hopeful for if I was ever in that situation
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Oh love this! Especially the Justin fletcher thing!
He’s amazing and hardly anyone around me seems to get this!
#spectrumsunday
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My best friend does not like him – I almost had to rethink that friendship! 😉
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It’s heartbreaking to hear friends walk away from you, they definitely don’t deserve to be in your lives! I loved reading this, you’re such an amazing, inspiring mum to an even more amazing boy.
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Thank you.x
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This post is spot on and well-written. As for your quote at the start – she can’t parent children without any extra needs.
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Thank you so much for being so candid!
💙🏆 You’re doing a wonderful job as a Mum and this blog is great. 🏆💙
I almost cried because your love, devotion and courage is awe-inspiring.
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Thank you. I am welled up after reading your comment. I would do anything to make my son’s life better.x
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xx
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One memory comes in… something else falls out! And you can always ask your friend how they take their tea… but it really does feel like you are the only one who knows what’s actually happening with your child and their therapies – not even the NHS seems to match that up. Thanks for joining in #spectrumsunday
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Very true!
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This is so touching to read, you’re doing a fantastic job as a mum #KCACOLS
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I know how special disabled children are, I worked with them while I was at Uni. Something that seems so easy for others can be a big achievement and can make you feel proud and happy, even though it’s not easy for the rest to understand. You are doing great. x
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Great post, lovely. Such a shame that some ‘friends’ fade away. #KCACOLS
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Fantastic post. I think many of us would have thoughts doubting ourselves – right up until the time we did exactly what needed to be done.#KCACOLS
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Shame on those people who you used to call friends! At least the ones that stay are true friends
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It seems crazy that people would ditch a friendship because of this but sadly, I can well believe it. I totally get what you say about speaking up for your child. Our eldest has an autoimmune condition and although I’m quite shy, I was relentless about advocating for her with doctors and nurses in the hospital. I guess we pull out all our internal resources for our kids!
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You’ve found a way to count your blessings in a really touching way, focusing on the good that has been brought out in you.
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I have huge respect for parents of disabled children it has to be the hardest job in the world – I think everyone should read this post so they can understand what it’s like. Off to share this on twitter now.
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Parenting is a huge emotional commitment and even more so when the developmental milestones are extended due to disability. I think you are an incredible mum and I hope other parents with disabled children are reassured by this post.
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My daughter does not have a disability but she does have quite a few medical and development problems so I can relate to this x
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What a lovely post. I like the photo too! I can imagine it very hard parenting a disabled child. But once there is love, it is possible but exhausting.
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I love the photo too. It took a long time for Adam to have the ability to cuddle us so cuddles are very precious.
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You are doing such a wonderful job; Adam is so lucky to have such a kind and thoughtful mother. I could learn a thing or two from you!
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I really can tell that you wrote this from the heart. I would worry I wasn’t up to the job, but you’re right, we would all adapt in this situation
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You would absolutely be up to the job. As parents we all doubt that we are getting it right or doing enough. Some days this feels more like extreme parenting though!
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You are an inspiration – this is so touching to read. You are an awesome mum and have an awesome son xx Kaz
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Great post, I bet you do hear loads of cliches! I can’t believe that Katie Hopkins quote! What an awful lady!
Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time
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I, being a disabled adult, can relate to some of these too. For example, I’m very introverted but when I really need to advocate for myself, I find my voice.
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This has done a second round on my feed this morning 🙂 I’d blame Zuckerberg but I think sometimes things come round when you need them! Love this post x
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I saw it again yesterday and was,most definitely, a time when I needed to see it again.
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I love this!! It’s so very true xx
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I had no idea of my own ability to do things till my son came along.
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