Fake it ’til you make it?

I might look strong.
I might always have a smile.
I might seem to be achieving things that you can’t imagine doing.
I might seem to have courage.
I might seem to be okay.
But I am not.
My body aches from years of lifting another person.
My smile is fixed because it is easier than sharing my truth.
Not doing things isn’t an option, so I keep doing them.
I am tired and filled with fear.
And I try so hard to look okay.
But I am not.
I fake that inner strength.
I fake that smile.
I fake the ease with which I do things.
I fake the courage to keep going.
I fake being okay.
Not because my son is disabled.
But because he is disabled by facilities!
I am tired of battling for inclusion in life.
Tired from seeing him on the edge of life.
Tired from towns and attractions having no toilets he can use.
Tired from years of seeing him hurt.
Tired from knowing how many others share our struggles.
Tired from feeling that I am failing my son.
Tired from all the tears I have shed.
Tired from all the tears I hold inside.
Shouldn’t accessible toilets for all just be something we all expect?

Is THIS really too much to ask of councils and tourist attractions?


Just this.

A ceiling hoist and a changing table in the same room as a toilet and basin.

The monkey is not essential.

Changing Places toilets are not new.
Hoisting equipment is not new.
Disabled people are not new.
This awful indignity is not new.
And it will continue into another generation of people unless we act now.

I don’t have all the answers, but I know that I have to try.

And I cannot do it alone.

Please try at least one of these.

You could write to your MP to ask why Changing Places toilets are not mandatory in any building or development in this country. Merely being a “recommendation” is not enough. Find your MP HERE.

Sign the petition set up by my fellow campaigner, Lorna Fillingham.

Share any posts you see online about Changing Places toilets. Yes, I know it is boring, but when change happens we can all stop talking about toilets!

Some things are just wrong.

47 thoughts on “Fake it ’til you make it?

  1. I’m sorry that you and your son are faced with a lack of facilities so he can’t enjoy a day out as he should. I have signed the petition and shared your post to make others aware.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is such a fantastic campaign and for such a important case – I cannot believe there are still issues with facilities, especially toilets, this has to be changed. Thanks so much for sharing this

    Laura x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve also signed and shared your petition. Hopefully they listen and do something for you and your child. And for all the other children and parents who are in the same position as you!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Gosh you are strong. I would crumble with such things to face as you do. You’re brilliant. Elinor x


  5. Living with a grandfather who has MD, I 100% understand the need for more accessible restrooms. It’s the one thing that literally everyone uses, so why not be as inclusive and considerate as possible? You’ve got my support! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It’s so rubbish to read that so many places still don’t have these basic facilities! We are lucky to have a few places near by that have great facilities and they’re not even “big attractions”, it makes you wonder why the rest of them can’t sort it out.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’ve signed the petition and will continue to share all Changing Places posts I see. Never give up hope even though it is so hard. Lx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Some days I feel like lots of people in Cornwall dislike me. Particularly places like Lands End and Hall for Cornwall! I can live with them disliking me though, what I can’t keep going with is my son being hurt.


  8. Such a well written poem. I can’t imagine how tough it must be watching your son missing out on things due to toilet facilities. The solution seems such a small thing that I’m sure most businesses and attractions could afford to install. I hope it becomes law and not just a recommendation soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It’s an incredibly hard thing to believe that this day and age we don’t put more into our disabled facilities especially as they are effectively a human right! This needs to change x


  10. Very powerful message. Not having been in the situation of yourself and your son I wasn’t even aware of the problem with current facilities.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I agree. It shouldn’t be too much to ask at all. Well done for writing about it too! Wishing you all the best!


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