Parental guilt.

I recently let my son down.

Not because I wanted to and not because I didn’t care.

He was due to have a big operation which would impact greatly on him and I wanted to make the weeks before it fun so that he could have great memories of days out.

Half term week would probably be a great opportunity for most families as there is simply so much available, with almost every local attraction putting on extra things for children.

But very few of those places truly welcome those with disabilities, otherwise they would have toilets with a hoist and changing table by now.

We had enjoyed some wonderful days out at Easter when a local charity hired a mobile changing places toilet and we had also had a great day at a local theme park when I hired the same facility. Those days showed us what we were missing.

Mobiloo for a week so that we could go out and enjoy the sort of things most families take for granted – like enjoying a day at the zoo or going out for lunch and then heading to the beach. It would have been the perfect solution but we simply couldn’t afford to do it

The surgery was at a hospital 200 miles away. One parent was going to need to pay for accommodation whilst the other stayed at the hospital and such stays always bring extra costs. We couldn’t be “extravagant” at this time. So, I had to  be sensible and take the sensible choice.

So we didn’t have a fabulous week of days out in Cornwall.
We didn’t enjoy the many great places that others enjoyed.
We didn’t make fabulous memories to carry us through the difficult days ahead.

All because of a lack of accessible toilets.

So I am sharing this video, courtesy of BBC Spotlight, of Adam’s One Perfect Day in the hope that more people and places will understand the importance of providing toilets with a hoist and changing table. Because those facilities are what made this day out possible.

Adam should not have to rely on charities making it possible for him to go out.

Nobody should.

So please join me in asking attractions, town councils and large businesses to consider installing a toilet with a hoist and changing table.

They can easily be fitted into smaller spaces, as shown by this company with their Space to Change option.

We need more of us raising awareness or nothing will change.

Disabled people don’t want special treatment.
They don’t want token “access days”.
They want to go to all the places others do.

Wouldn’t you?




12 thoughts on “Parental guilt.

  1. oh what an honest sweet story. In this day and age, i think all public places should cater for the disabled, and for parents with children. Keep sharing your story and bringing awareness. It will make all the difference! I hope Adams surgery and recovery went well. x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You shouldn’t feel guilty, as you say the council and big attractions are the ones that should feel guilty for not providing this so children like your son can have days out too. Good luck and I hope it brings the awareness needed. I hope Adam is doing well after his surgery x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What a shame and you shouldn’t feel guilty. You do so much to raise awareness and are truly inspirational. I hope the operation went well and that you all have a proper day out soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You shouldn’t feel guilty for doing your best and giving your son the best. I agree he should be able to enjoy places just as much as any other child. The bigwigs in the attractions and the local authority should be feeling guilty. You are doing an amazing job! Big hugs and stay strong.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I hope the surgery went well? You should be able to have the days out like everyone else, basic facilities should be standard. As many others have said you should not feel guilty, the people that make the decisions on why they are not common place should. I hope all your campaigning works x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. One week on and he has finally eaten. Pain is still a problem and he is most unhappy with his plastercasts but I think we are turning a corner now. Thank you for your support.x


  6. I am disabled although my conditions are invisible unless I am in my wheelchair and sometimes we can’t do the things I’d like to as a mother and i feel guilty as it impacts on my child.. I totally get your post!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. No, you are absolutely right – disabled people are not looking for special treatment, and all children should have the same opportunities to do things as other kids. I so hope that people are going to sit up and listen, and realise just how important these kind of toilets are!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s