10 things you may not know about parenting a disabled child.

  1. Some “friends” will disappear, but those who stay, and those who choose to be part of your new world, will be the most amazing friends a person could ever know.
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  2. You will ache to depths that you didn’t know possible but you will also know unimaginable joy at things others don’t even see.Heart
  3. No matter how exhausting life gets, you always find more energy when your child needs you, even when it seems impossible.Heart
  4. Your memory changes entirely. You will no longer remember how your friend takes their coffee but you know the details of ten different consultants and departments across several hospitals.
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  5. The wee/poo/vomit/sleepless night stage lasts much longer for many of us than it does for parents of non-disabled children. There is no funny anecdote or cheery “plus” to this one!
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  6. You discover that almost everyone has a cliché to share, and they will just keep coming! Eventually you will be able to enjoy a quiet game of “Cliché Bingo” in your head whilst smiling politely.
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  7. You develop a love of Justin Fletcher that others just don’t understand. But there is also a good excuse for watching Mr Bloom! 🙂
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  8. Your brain over-rules all negativity – medical professionals will say things like “he is unlikely to…” but your brain translates them to “he most definitely will!”
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  9. No matter how quiet or introverted you are, you will find your voice when your child needs you to stand up for their rights.
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  10. You may not think that you could parent a disabled child, you may not think you are selfless enough or good enough, but it turns out that you just become the mum your child needs.Heart

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54 thoughts on “10 things you may not know about parenting a disabled child.

    1. Absolutely true! My grandaughter is loved to bits and every new step she takes, is so overwhelming for her parents! Nothing is taken for granted! They feel blessed in every way and the sun rises and sets around their daughter! 🙂

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  1. I find it so sad that people feel it’s okay to walk away from a friendship for such a silly reason. All children are a blessing and they should be mature enough to see that!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a lovely post, and a really interesting insight. I dont have a disabled child, but honestly I have always really appreciated everything Justin Fletcher does. He’s a good man.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So true, I speak as a disabled adult. The only thing I’d add is when your family walks away because they can’t deal with the label ‘disabled’. And the comments you have made don’t go away as you get older, unfortunately lol

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    1. I was chatting the other day to a friend who is a disabled adult and was almost in tears at some of the treatment they told me about, all of which came from family. I cannot understand anyone treating a family member that way. I will do whatever my son need in order to make his life better.

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  4. I remember saying something similar when I was pregnant with E.
    I have since said I was just grateful that E only had Autism to deal with and no significant medical attention required i.e. Medicines, dressings etc etc to remember and manage as I thought I would not be able to do this. We have had a lot of friends come and go who have found her behaviour too stressful to deal with and this has just proven they are not true friends.
    This year we have an added challenge to fight!
    We now have the autism and luekeamia to manage and with some very special friends and family from unexpected places we are managing day by day.
    We gain strength from the littlest gestures and kindness, hide the tears that spring up because of these. I am always surprised how kind strangers can be.
    As mums we find the strength to be strong not just for ourselves but everyone close to us whatever is needed we do for the strongest love anyone can imagine and I for one cannot imagine life now without my disabled person in it xx

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  5. My goodness, what a beautiful post. I often see moms with disabled children out and about at Target or the grocery and think “Hats off to you, you’re such a great parent” I know we rise to the occasion, but I also believe moms like you are true angels on earth. x

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  6. I have 4 children with Autism. I have lost friends, people don’t know how to deal with their reactions, which makes me incredibly sad. Thank you for sharing

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  7. Lovely post. I can imagine it’s so hard when your friends aren’t always there for you anymore but it’s amazing how you have stayed strong and this posts makes me very hopeful for if I was ever in that situation

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  8. One memory comes in… something else falls out! And you can always ask your friend how they take their tea… but it really does feel like you are the only one who knows what’s actually happening with your child and their therapies – not even the NHS seems to match that up. Thanks for joining in #spectrumsunday

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  9. I know how special disabled children are, I worked with them while I was at Uni. Something that seems so easy for others can be a big achievement and can make you feel proud and happy, even though it’s not easy for the rest to understand. You are doing great. x

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  10. It seems crazy that people would ditch a friendship because of this but sadly, I can well believe it. I totally get what you say about speaking up for your child. Our eldest has an autoimmune condition and although I’m quite shy, I was relentless about advocating for her with doctors and nurses in the hospital. I guess we pull out all our internal resources for our kids!

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    1. You would absolutely be up to the job. As parents we all doubt that we are getting it right or doing enough. Some days this feels more like extreme parenting though!

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