Loss.

One month ago I lost my biggest supporter, my greatest cheerleader, and my hero.

And I feel as though nothing will ever feel right again.

The man who made sure that I grew up to believe in myself is no longer here to tell me that I can achieve anything. No longer here to reassure me with his smile. No longer here to tell me that I must not let anyone put me down.

And I am lost.

Everything has stopped. The fire has dampened.

I always wanted to make him proud and I know that he was proud of everything I have done to ensure that his grandson has every opportunity possible, no matter how hard it has been to make it happen.


I know that he was proud of all the changes we have made in Cornwall, and of the ripples which have led to change in other areas of the country.

Adam is using his powered wheelchair and is posing with his grandparents in the new Changing Places toilet at Cornwall Services. They are all smiling and have their thumbs up. The changing table, shower, hoist and basin are visible around the family.
Celebrating the new Changing Places facility at Cornwall Services.
Wheelchair using child and his mum in a lift in a toy shop. The child is wearing blue shorts and a t-shirt shirt with Hogwarts Castle on it. Mum is wearing a black and white summer dress. The child is open mouthed and waving his arms in excitement. Mum is smiling widely.
The new lift at The Entertainer in Truro.
A young woman and a man both wearing green BF Adventure t-shirts are smiling alongside Adam who is using his blue powered wheelchair and wearing a Mario T-shirt. They are posing in the new Changing Places toilet, with the changing table and hoist behind them.
The new Changing Places toilet at BF Adventure.
Photo shows a large wooden building with ramped access and a Changing Places logo on the door. The logo shows a wheelchair user, care with a changing table in frot f them and a ceiling hoist. There is a mural on the fence outside, the sky is bright blue and there are green trees in the background.
The new Changing Places toilet at The Lost Gardens of Heligan.

And I know that I must keep going. Because there are many more good things to celebrate, and much more work to be done.

My dad believed in me and he believed in equality for all. And I know that I must keep strong, keep battling and keep defending his grandson’s right to be treated with dignity.

He believed that we are doing the right thing with our court cases and that belief will keep us strong during the toughest times. Learning to go on without him is much harder than taking legal action ever will be.

He was very open that he had learned a lot through having Adam in his life and he believed that others could learn too.

My son is my inspiration for bringing change, but my father gave me the determination to carry it through.

Why Flambards3
I was very lucky to be his daughter.
I will cherish the love we shared.
And I will strive to continue to make him proud.

No matter how hard it is.


For anyone new to Ordinary Hopes, please check out some of the stories behind the photographs here, as well as some which are not mentioned above.

Taking on The Entertainer
One Perfect Day
Thank you Cornwall Services
Hall for Cornwall
Lost Gardens of Heligan
The Flambards case
Possibilities…

16 thoughts on “Loss.

  1. The battle you started with your father to better the life of your son has lead to others taking up your cause, and from someone who has lost that special person in their lives he is never far away and will always be in your heart. My battle is different I am also fighting for a son who is special and had his life stolen 2.30 hours before he took his first breath by NHS Medical negligence. But with people like yourself bringing change to the world one step at a time you are giving the future generations the tools to both have this happen in the future.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We shouldn’t have to fight these battles, but I know that nothing will change unless we do.

      Thank you for your kind comment.x

      Like

  2. Your dad will always be with you hon. He was an inspirational man , and passed that onto you too. In everything you do you are continuing the inspirational work in your own way and making life better for your joy , gus grandson.
    Your dad was always proud of you hon. Just remember all the good times and when he was with you on your battles .
    Xxx T

    Like

  3. So sorry to hear about your father but this is a lovely tribute.
    I am sure you will continue to make him proud with the awesome work you are doing.
    Sending hugs.

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  4. So sorry for your loss , I feel your pain I have felt lost too without my father here for the last 3.5years he was my rock he kept me going with the fights I had with my own son , he died before I got Archie diagnosis . I no my dad is by my side on the fights I keep having to do for Archie , both him and my mum gave me my strength and determination to fight what is right . You are a inspiration in making a difference to getting changing places well done I am sure your dad is very proud .

    Like

    1. I know that he was proud and I know he supported everything I have done.

      Much love you you too. This is harder than I have words for.x

      Like

    1. Thank you. There are no words. I don’t usually share such personal emotion but I know that many care and have wondered why things have gone so quiet.x

      Like

      1. I lost my grandma in march and the first of my birthday, her birthday, Mother’s Day…they were all hard. I can’t imagine Xmas! I know it’s not the same as losing a parent but what I mean is, it will hurt. Don’t feel like you have to hide how you feel. Talk about it, talk about him xx

        Liked by 1 person

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